After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
