Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
