I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
