Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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