If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just invented taco cereal.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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