we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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