I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You smell like a Billy Joel song
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I'm really busy with my period
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