How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
