What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
