i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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