I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
honey bunches of taint.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
