What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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