I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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