i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
