xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
