My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
only you would photoshop your dick
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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