i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
