We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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