I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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