You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's like iHOP with fire
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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