Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
