'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
