you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
