Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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