dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
