and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
