shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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