everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
