Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
