I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
