He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
