There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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