I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
