After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize