didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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