Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
