found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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