I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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