I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
