Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
