I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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