ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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