So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
