I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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