Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize