You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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