Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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