Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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