if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
