The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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