don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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