with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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