We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
