Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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