i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
