how can u be prego again
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
