Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think a kid would responsible me up
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
