You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
