Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
