RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize