are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm always down for nudity.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
