So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
