watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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