He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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