I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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