It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
