you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize