Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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