so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
