I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
