We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
