quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
