new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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