This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am available for nakedness
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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