Whod you bang
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm having to shit out rocks
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize