I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
